I never thought I’d be doing this again, yet here we are. It’s time to begin the continuation of a now annual tradition around here at DTFR. It’s time to rank the NHL mascots.
For the first time since January 2017, here’s the latest look at things.
31) New York Rangers Last year’s ranking 30th
They don’t have a mascot, which the old me would’ve said “that’s OK for a franchise that’s over 90-years-old and has one of the easiest nicknames to create a mascot for”, but the new me says “why wouldn’t they want to get in on the post-Gritty hype-train newscycle?” Petition to make Henrik Lundqvist the mascot when he retires someday? Who says “no”?
30) Al the Octopus (Detroit Red Wings) Last year’s ranking 26th
I understand the tradition (8 wins used to win you the Cup back in the day), but 1) inflation exists (it takes 16 wins now to take home the Cup) and 2) it’s a lot easier to make an octopus costume than it is to raise and lower a giant octopus from the rafters every night. I’m just saying.
29) Sparky the Dragon (New York Islanders) Last year’s ranking 25th
Seriously, I still don’t get why they haven’t switched things up to the Gorton’s Fisherman™. Sparky was once the mascot for the Islanders and the New York Dragons (makes sense) Arena Football team until 2009.
28) Nordy (Minnesota Wild) Last year’s ranking 24th
Nordy just has a lot going on around the eyes and on the back of his jersey. 18,001? I feel bad for the poor equipment manager that has to iron that on all the sweaters Nordy goes through in a season. Also, he’s got a mullet– this isn’t the Minnesota North Stars, it’s the Wild. I don’t care what you say, I will never be a fan of that hairstyle unless it’s Jaromir Jagr.
— Nordy Minnesota Wild (@NordyWild) September 20, 2018
27) Howler (Arizona Coyotes) Last year’s ranking 21st
Unlike how his team should be rising in the standings this season, Howler’s stock is falling. At least temporarily. It’ll be fun to see Howler in a kachina sweater every Saturday of the regular season, but that’s about it.
— Howler Coyote (@HowlerCoyote) September 9, 2018
26) Hunter (Edmonton Oilers) Last year’s ranking 23rd
Hunter was named after the original owner of the Oilers, William Hunter, and wears No. 72 in reference to the team’s founding as the Alberta Oilers in the World Hockey Association (WHA). He’s a Canadian lynx, so that’s cool, I guess. Other than that, he scares people.
#Oilers fans, retweet this photo of Hunter & Dr. PatchUp for your chance to score a signed @RNH_93 jersey! Purchase your @MightyStollery tix via https://t.co/MNrD4e5WyK by midnight Friday for your chance to win 2018-19 season seats plus a brand new Ford F-150 & $10k cash. pic.twitter.com/eSUAEalJsC
— Edmonton Oilers (@EdmontonOilers) September 28, 2018
25) Stanley C. Panther/Viktor E. Ratt (Florida Panthers) Last year’s ranking 20th
Not many fans outside of Sunrise, Florida might realize that yes, the Panthers have two official mascots. There’s Stanley C. Panther, which, if you look deep enough into his eyes you’ll start hearing a Sarah McLachlan song for some reason and Viktor E. Ratt, who… exists. 1996 was a weird time.
— Stanley C. Panther (@StanleyCPanther) September 25, 2018
24) Stormy (Carolina Hurricanes) Last year’s ranking 28th
Be on the lookout for Stormy to take the world by… storm. Since the Hurricanes updated their home jerseys to one of the best in the league, Stormy’s appearance on the outside has improved drastically. Aside from asking the important question, will Stormy wear a Whalers sweater on Whalers Night or will Pucky the Whale make a return to his former franchise? Let’s not negate the fact Stormy likes to roll around in the mud all day.
— Stormy (@NHLStormy) February 17, 2018
23) Harvey the Hound (Calgary Flames) Last year’s ranking 18th
As the league’s oldest mascot, there’s a certain charm to the nostalgia of his look. He’s also the only mascot in the league to not be wearing a jersey, excluding Al the Octopus, which shouldn’t really even technically count as a mascot, Detroit. Harvey’s great, but have you seen what googly eyes can do for you these days? Or at least give the poor hound a sweater– preferably one of those sweet alternates the Flames are bringing back.
— Harvey The Hound (@HarveyTheHound_) March 23, 2017
22) Bernie the St. Bernard (Colorado Avalanche) Last year’s ranking 22nd
The ADIZERO jersey style brought back the mountain design to the Avalanche’s sweaters and that’s improved Bernie’s overall aesthetic, but part of me still misses Howler the Yeti. But hey, dogs like kids, kids like dogs and even cranky old adults (so everyone that’s not a kid) like dogs that save people from avalanches.
— Bernie (@AvsBernie) September 22, 2018
21) Spartacat (Ottawa Senators) Last year’s ranking 9th
Spartacat’s fell on hard times and it’s not just because of the Erik Karlsson trade and full-on rebuild in Ottawa. It’s occurred to me since last year nobody’s gotten around to giving his hair a good washing and he doesn’t even have whiskers. So yeah, Spartacat took a fall in the rankings and didn’t land on all-fours, contrary to that myth about cats.
CATch me this Sunday @saundersfarm one of my all-time favourite places to throw a B-DAY bash! Kids 14 & under can join my Cub Club to receive a very SENSational party offer for you & your adults (Sep 30th only) https://t.co/A61eX7pnip pic.twitter.com/1tU28z2zy0
— Spartacat (@REAL_Spartacat) September 26, 2018