Category Archives: Mascot Rankings

2018-19 NHL Mascot Power Rankings: 10th-1st

I never thought I’d be doing this again, yet here we are. It’s time to begin the continuation of a now annual tradition around here at DTFR. It’s time to rank the NHL mascots.

For the first time since January 2017, here’s the latest look at things. Be sure to check out the last couple of days ranking’s (31st-21st and 20th-11th).

10) Youppi! (Montreal Canadiens) Last year’s ranking 6th

Youppi! is slipping as the Expos become even more of a distant memory with the passing of time. Adopted by the Canadiens after Montreal’s MLB team went to Washington, D.C. and rebranded as the Washington Nationals, Youppi! is still receiving pity votes because he doesn’t belong at an ice rink. He belongs in a field of dreams. Plus his distant cousin (we’re pretty sure), Gritty is way hotter. Step your game up, Youppi!

9) Chance (Vegas Golden Knights) Last year’s ranking 31st (despite not having a mascot at the time)

It took a little time for everyone to give chance a Chance, but he’s here to stay like the Golden Knights– and they mean business. Chance is just lovable enough to see himself bolt into the top-10 in this year’s power rankings, but a continued effort in the community could see him in the top-5 next year. Or maybe just more mean tweet videos. That was pretty good last season, you have to admit.

8) Blades the Bruin (Boston Bruins) Last year’s ranking 5th

Boston is bringing back a little more brown to their color palette this season with their 2019 Bridgestone NHL Winter Classic sweater, which will undoubtedly really bring out Blades’ fur and eyes. Until then, he’s only slipping a little because the Bruins don’t have an alternate sweater this season and the competition got tougher.

7) Fin (Vancouver Canucks) Last year’s ranking 10th

Fin is slowly working his way up towards the top of this list– fittingly at a time when it appears he’ll soon have a neighboring rival in Seattle. We’ll see if he can take a bite out of the competition like how killer whales eat penguins. Wait!?! That should actually deduct some points. At least Vancouver has this whole “turn your logo into a three-dimensional costumed character” down-pat.

6) Sabretooth (Buffalo Sabres) Last year’s ranking 8th

Did you see how Buffalo’s 2018 Winter Classic sweater looked on this tiger? No? Well, you need to get out more, because Sabretooth certainly did. He strut his stuff all over the community looking fashionable in royal blue and it’s a shame the Sabres don’t resort to that color full-time.

5) Slapshot (Washington Capitals) Last year’s ranking 4th

Slapshot won the Cup last season with the Capitals, but didn’t surface on the Internet anywhere in any fountains around D.C. What a shame. Washington did bring back their original sweater as an alternate once again and we all know Slapshot looks better in that than he does in their current red, white and blue threads.

4) Gritty (Philadelphia Flyers) Last year’s ranking 29th (even though Philly didn’t have a mascot since 1976)

What do you mean you didn’t know about Gritty? Have you even been on the Internet, seen TV or anything this week? Gritty is all the rage. Gritty is here and now. Gritty is here to stay. Like him or not– he’s got (gr)it. And googly eyes (bonus points!).

3) Bailey (Los Angeles Kings) Last year’s ranking 1st

Last year’s winner of our mascot power rankings is this year’s second-runner up. It’s through no fault of his own, really, just time to pass the Kings (get it?) crown on to someone else. Fear not though, Bailey can crawl into the arms of Ilya Kovalchuk this season and be just fine.

2) S.J. Sharkie (San Jose Sharks) Last year’s ranking 2nd

What’s not to love about a lovable loser? Not that I’m implying S.J. Sharkie is a loser, but he does live near the Charles M. Schultz Museum, so he’s got a little Charlie Brown in him. It just happens. But hey, Erik Karlsson’s on the Sharks now, so maybe this is their year!*

*He says, every year.

1) Iceburgh (Pittsburgh Penguins) Last year’s ranking 7th

What makes Iceburgh No. 1 this year? Just look at him. He’s always well-dressed, though that might have something to do with the built-in formal look of penguins, Iceburgh is one hot mascot. He ages like a fine wine. Unlike Sidney Crosby’s playoff beard, which has somehow gotten worse the older “Sid the Kid” gets (I’m joking, it’s actually improved too).

 


In all seriousness though, all of the league’s mascots do an amazing job cheering up kids in visits around their community, entertaining their fans and rooting for their respective teams, so hats off to the people living inside of the sweaty costumes (actually, some are air-conditioned, so let’s maybe not give them that much credit for having a cooler job than the rest of us. Get it?).

2018-19 NHL Mascot Power Rankings: 20th-11th

I never thought I’d be doing this again, yet here we are. It’s time to begin the continuation of a now annual tradition around here at DTFR. It’s time to rank the NHL mascots.

For the first time since January 2017, here’s the latest look at things. Be sure to check out yesterday’s ranking (31st-21st) and stay tuned for tomorrow’s top-10.

20) Tommy Hawk (Chicago Blackhawks) Last year’s ranking 14th

The Blackhawks jersey is a timeless classic, but time has been catching up on Tommy Hawk. First of all, he’s a hawk that looks more like a penguin and second, he’s now been traded to the Arizona Coyotes for cap relief purposes, I’m being told by my producer.

19) Gnash (Nashville Predators) Last year’s ranking 17th

Gnash isn’t that bad looking, but Nashville’s home jersey lost its edge in the transition from Reebok EDGE 2.0 to ADIZERO technology. Because of that, we get a pretty average looking mascot that has many talents including entertaining the Tennessee Titans when they aren’t chugging beers and swinging catfish around at a playoff game.

18) Thunderbug (Tampa Bay Lightning) Last year’s ranking 15th

Thunderbug may lay claim to having a dominant team on the ice in front of him, but that doesn’t ignore his electrifying averageness. That’s right, Thunderbug is average. He’s cute and cuddly, but he’s cuter in cartoon form on one of those pamphlets at the All-Star Game promoting the mascots game or whatever.

17) Wild Wing (Anaheim Ducks) Last year’s ranking 3rd

The Ducks introduced their one-year only third jerseys for 2018-19 and it cost them. Not necessarily on the ice– as a regular season game has yet to have been played– but it cost them in this mascot ranking because Wild Wing shouldn’t have to wear a sweater that screams “all 25 years of the franchise in one shirt”. Next!

16) Mick E. Moose (Winnipeg Jets) Last year’s ranking 11th

Winnipeg may be flying high, but like the Anaheim Ducks, the Jets introduced some sub-par alternate sweaters to the world this season. Now, they aren’t as bad as Anaheim’s, but something tells me Thrasher would look better in baby blue rather than Mick E. Moose.

15) Stinger (Columbus Blue Jackets) Last year’s ranking 27th

After careful consideration, Stinger’s moved up above a lot of the competition, but still has higher to climb. Another year has passed since Boomer working the mascot tandem with Stinger and the Blue Jackets brought back their quality third jerseys (albeit with the new-age number font and everything that they currently have on their home and road sweaters). It’s a redemptive year for Stinger, even though Columbus has still yet to win a playoff series.

14) Louie (St. Louis Blues) Last year’s ranking 12th

There’s nothing to complain about a plain looking bear, but Louie is kind of a Carlton the Bear knockoff. Nobody tell the Toronto Maple Leafs that though. It’s just another average year unless the Blues really wow him on the ice and finally win a Cup. Regardless, Louie puts on a smile every night and goes to work knowing one of these years Doug Armstrong will probably trade him and take the offseason to make the team that much better.

13) N.J. Devil (New Jersey Devils) Last year’s ranking 16th

Taylor Hall won the Hart Trophy last season as one of the hottest players on the ice, but there’s something even hotter in Jersey. It’s the Devil himself. Well, the N.J. Devil, that is. He’s on the rise and could be in the top-10 in 2019’s rankings depending on how he takes care of division rival, Gritty, trying to steal his spotlight. We’ll leave it up to his devilish plans.

12) Victor E. Green (Dallas Stars) Last year’s ranking 19th

A star is rising in the big-D and it’s not just Tyler Seguin’s cap hit beginning in the 2019-20 season thanks to his extension he signed with the Stars this month. Victor E. Green’s starting to take on more of the role of a veteran mascot, what with Chance and Gritty having been introduced after him now.

11) Carlton the Bear (Toronto Maple Leafs) Last year’s ranking 13th

John Tavares signed with the Leafs for $11.000 million a year through the 2024-25 season, so it’s fitting that Carlton finished 11th in this year’s ranking. Symbolism or something. Enough said.

 

2018-19 NHL Mascot Power Rankings: 31st-21st

I never thought I’d be doing this again, yet here we are. It’s time to begin the continuation of a now annual tradition around here at DTFR. It’s time to rank the NHL mascots.

For the first time since January 2017, here’s the latest look at things.

31) New York Rangers Last year’s ranking 30th

They don’t have a mascot, which the old me would’ve said “that’s OK for a franchise that’s over 90-years-old and has one of the easiest nicknames to create a mascot for”, but the new me says “why wouldn’t they want to get in on the post-Gritty hype-train newscycle?” Petition to make Henrik Lundqvist the mascot when he retires someday? Who says “no”?

download

30) Al the Octopus (Detroit Red Wings) Last year’s ranking 26th

I understand the tradition (8 wins used to win you the Cup back in the day), but 1) inflation exists (it takes 16 wins now to take home the Cup) and 2) it’s a lot easier to make an octopus costume than it is to raise and lower a giant octopus from the rafters every night. I’m just saying.Unknown

29) Sparky the Dragon (New York Islanders) Last year’s ranking 25th

Seriously, I still don’t get why they haven’t switched things up to the Gorton’s Fisherman™. Sparky was once the mascot for the Islanders and the New York Dragons (makes sense) Arena Football team until 2009.

sparky-twitter-avatar-400
@SparkyNYI on Twitter hasn’t tweeted anything. Perhaps he’s retired?

28) Nordy (Minnesota Wild) Last year’s ranking 24th

Nordy just has a lot going on around the eyes and on the back of his jersey. 18,001? I feel bad for the poor equipment manager that has to iron that on all the sweaters Nordy goes through in a season. Also, he’s got a mullet– this isn’t the Minnesota North Stars, it’s the Wild. I don’t care what you say, I will never be a fan of that hairstyle unless it’s Jaromir Jagr.

27) Howler (Arizona Coyotes) Last year’s ranking 21st

Unlike how his team should be rising in the standings this season, Howler’s stock is falling. At least temporarily. It’ll be fun to see Howler in a kachina sweater every Saturday of the regular season, but that’s about it.

26) Hunter (Edmonton Oilers) Last year’s ranking 23rd

Hunter was named after the original owner of the Oilers, William Hunter, and wears No. 72 in reference to the team’s founding as the Alberta Oilers in the World Hockey Association (WHA). He’s a Canadian lynx, so that’s cool, I guess. Other than that, he scares people.

25) Stanley C. Panther/Viktor E. Ratt (Florida Panthers) Last year’s ranking 20th

Not many fans outside of Sunrise, Florida might realize that yes, the Panthers have two official mascots. There’s Stanley C. Panther, which, if you look deep enough into his eyes you’ll start hearing a Sarah McLachlan song for some reason and Viktor E. Ratt, who… exists. 1996 was a weird time.

24) Stormy (Carolina Hurricanes) Last year’s ranking 28th

Be on the lookout for Stormy to take the world by… storm. Since the Hurricanes updated their home jerseys to one of the best in the league, Stormy’s appearance on the outside has improved drastically. Aside from asking the important question, will Stormy wear a Whalers sweater on Whalers Night or will Pucky the Whale make a return to his former franchise? Let’s not negate the fact Stormy likes to roll around in the mud all day.

23) Harvey the Hound (Calgary Flames) Last year’s ranking 18th

As the league’s oldest mascot, there’s a certain charm to the nostalgia of his look. He’s also the only mascot in the league to not be wearing a jersey, excluding Al the Octopus, which shouldn’t really even technically count as a mascot, Detroit. Harvey’s great, but have you seen what googly eyes can do for you these days? Or at least give the poor hound a sweater– preferably one of those sweet alternates the Flames are bringing back.

22) Bernie the St. Bernard (Colorado Avalanche) Last year’s ranking 22nd

The ADIZERO jersey style brought back the mountain design to the Avalanche’s sweaters and that’s improved Bernie’s overall aesthetic, but part of me still misses Howler the Yeti. But hey, dogs like kids, kids like dogs and even cranky old adults (so everyone that’s not a kid) like dogs that save people from avalanches.

21) Spartacat (Ottawa Senators) Last year’s ranking 9th

Spartacat’s fell on hard times and it’s not just because of the Erik Karlsson trade and full-on rebuild in Ottawa. It’s occurred to me since last year nobody’s gotten around to giving his hair a good washing and he doesn’t even have whiskers. So yeah, Spartacat took a fall in the rankings and didn’t land on all-fours, contrary to that myth about cats.

Numbers Game: Ranking the NHL Mascots (5-1)

The following is a continuation of the ranking of all of the mascots in the NHL, based on the list of NHL mascots Wikipedia page.

462032248.jpg
Blades is definitely mascot goals if you want to make the top five. (Photo by Brian Babineau/ Getty Images)

5. Blades- Boston Bruins

Blades is a fierce looking mascot with a big heart deep inside. Trust me, from personal experience, Blades is really nice, despite what nightmares he may give you. The Bruins hit one out of the park when they introduced Blades, a bruin (which is an old English word for “bear”, look it up) that has luscious blue eyes.

Additionally, Blades is less sarcastic than The Bear, Boston’s unofficial mascot that they use in plenty of marketing schemes who helps fit the New England stereotype of being tough and a diehard fan of Rene Rancourt.

C23vSKrXUAQHEjA.jpg
Slapshot is a great mascot for the Capitals, but enough with the drum, Slapshot, we’re trying to watch the game. (Photo via @Caps_Slapshot)

4. Slapshot- Washington Capitals

Nothing screams patriotism than a bald eagle representing your hockey franchise that plays in Washington, D.C. Nothing. Slapshot is an excellent mascot. Seriously. Well done. Props to you, Washington Capitals, you remembered to give your wicked cool mascot pants and all.

My only complaint (like with any mascot) is the drum. I hate those during play and they’re pretty tacky if your fan base can’t rally themselves and must be provoked to cheer or chant. Okay, rant over, please don’t hate me Capitals fans. It’s nothing against you, just something about sports that I’ve observed over the years.

Cgm5UHBUUAAyhX3.jpg
Wild Wing, you make my heart sing. (Photo via @WildWing_93)

3. Wild Wing- Anaheim Ducks

The California teams sweep the podium in my ranking of the NHL’s mascots and for good reason. To some, Wild Wing could rank higher or lower, but to me, Wild Wing comes in at number three. Look, this is a quality mascot. I have no complaints other than minor qualms about Wild Wing’s lack of pants and such. And if you claim he’s wearing pants and that they’re white. Newsflash, IT’S AFTER LABOR DAY.

As an aside, I’ve never seen the Mighty Ducks or any of the sequels. No, I won’t watch them because you tell me I have to in order to be a real ’90s kid, hockey fan or whatever.

C1x-hOmUoAEw1jp.jpg
S.J. Sharkie + Brent Burns forever. True love does exist. (Photo via @sjsharkie)

2. S.J. Sharkie- San Jose Sharks

What other mascot tries to eat everyone they meet? Anyone? Anyone? I didn’t think so. S.J. Sharkie not only rappels from the rafters (and gets stuck every now and then), but likes to offer his bite instead of a handshake as a formal greeting. Simply put, S.J. Sharkie is on the shortlist of mascots I wouldn’t mind having at my birthday party sometime.

No amount of Metallica could keep the Shark Tank rocking on its own. S.J. Sharkie is the heart and soul of SAP Center and he knows how to keep it loud all the time. Party at S.J. Sharkie’s everyone.

Cz2Dfl2UsAArsgx.jpg
Bailey is truly the pride of the pack. He is the king of mascots. (Photo via @BaileyLAKings)

1. Bailey- Los Angeles Kings

Bailey reigns supreme over all of the other mascots in the NHL. He’s got the royal look down with the heart of a lion. Though lions are typically menacing, Bailey’s actually pretty amiable. The Los Angeles Kings really outdid themselves with the creation and implementation of Bailey as their mascot.

Named after the Kings’s pro scouting director, Garnet “Ace” Bailey, who was tragically killed when United Airlines Flight 175 hit the south tower on 9/11, the Los Angeles franchise turned the tragedy and mourning of a coworker, mentor, friend and family member into part of the organization’s legacy forever. What better way to memorialize a man like “Ace” Bailey than by making him the most approachable mascot in the NHL?

Numbers Game: Ranking the Mascots of the NHL (10-6)

The following is a continuation of the ranking of all of the mascots in the NHL, based on the list of NHL mascots Wikipedia page.

C2am3q0UUAAwobE.jpg
Yep, I’m skating the other way if I see this guy chilling in the crease. (Photo via @CanucksFIN)

10. Fin- Vancouver Canucks

Got to say, I’m not much of a Fin fan. Having said that, I certainly understand how Fin ties in with the Vancouver Canucks and the whole orca whale thing. It’s just that Fin kind of creeps me out. Plus I’m sure he likes to bite people’s fingers, which might explain why Alex Burrows knows so much about that.

In all seriousness, Fin is an outstanding mascot who tries hard and loves the game. Definitely top-ten worthy.

c03lhywveaax8cx
Points for the hair, Spartacat. (Photo via @REAL_Spartacat).

9. Spartacat- Ottawa Senators

Just look at Spartacat and tell me there isn’t something anymore perfect. Okay, actually, there’s several things that are better than Spartacat, as exhibited by his ranking at 9th best mascot. But honestly, Spartacat is pretty cool.

You’ve got the “Sparta” part of a warrior, you’ve got the lion part of a solid mascot and you’ve got the friendly face that allows you to not be too freaked out by his presence at Ottawa Senators games. Spartacat is a tremendous ambassador for the NHL. He doesn’t need to be tamed.

Screen Shot 2017-01-19 at 12.19.15 AM.png
Sure, why not go stand in the woods? (Photo via @BuffaloSabres)

8. Sabretooth- Buffalo Sabres

You can’t talk about aesthetically pleasing mascots without having to mention the handsomely looking Sabretooth (is that a weird thing to say about a mascot?). I mean, really, Sabretooth almost has it all. The looks, the stripes, the teeth. The only problem is that he doesn’t really relate to the city of Buffalo or have much to do with the organization itself.

Then again, the Sabres were named as such to be unique and standout from the more traditional Buffalo sports names (Bisons or Buffaloes, namely). Sabretooth is a bit too much of a play on the Sabres’s name. Additionally, the Nashville Predators exist, so that’s a loss of creativity points, Buffalo, and quite possibly some type of creative infringement.

Oh and one more thing, Sabretooth’s not wearing any pants.

459894848.jpg
Trust me, Iceburgh doesn’t wear pants. Look it up if you don’t believe me. (Photo by Justin K. Aller/ Getty Images)

7. Iceburgh- Pittsburgh Penguins

Speaking of not wearing pants, Iceburgh is lacking some clothing too and now that I think about it, it’s rather disturbing.

Regardless, Iceburgh is pleasing to look at and receives points for being a penguin, albeit a Pittsburgh Penguin, but we can look past that if you’re not a fan of that organization because penguins are awesome. But hey, if you love the Penguins, then surely you love Iceburgh too and everyone can take comfort in the fact that no more live penguins have been harmed.

cut.jpg
Guys, I think Youppi! might be phoning it in since the Expos left. (Photo via NHL.com)

6. Youppi!- Montreal Canadiens

Youppi! was adopted by the Montreal Canadiens after the MLB’s Montreal Expos jettisoned the city for Washington D.C. in search of life as the Washington Nationals. In a sense, that’s an extremely nice gesture to assure that no mascot goes homeless. On the other hand, MLB mascots tend to scare me because of their lack of having any realistic qualities about them. So that’s some points off, Montreal.

Anyway, I digress, Youppi! is great, but there are some mascots that are just a cut above the rest in the NHL. Also, fun fact, Youppi!’s never won the Cup, which is a pretty rare feat by any member of the Canadiens organization.

Numbers Game: Ranking the Mascots of the NHL (15-11)

By: Nick Lanciani

The following is a continuation of the ranking of all of the mascots in the NHL, based on the list of NHL mascots Wikipedia page.

Screen Shot 2017-01-17 at 2.41.59 PM.png
You’ve been Thunderbug-ed. (Photo by Scott Audette/ Getty Images)

15. Thunderbug- Tampa Bay Lightning

If it weren’t for Tampa’s third jerseys (which, thank you very much, adidas for doing something about them, even though I’m usually a fan of alternates), Thunderbug might be higher up in my rankings, but unfortunately even Thunderbug can’t pull off looking stunning in those “Bolts” jerseys.

Look, Tampa actually did a great job coming up with a mascot that works in more ways than one. Thunderbug’s name implies both the sound that occurs after lightning in a thunderstorm, as well as a synonym for “lightning bug”, or as normal people call them, “fireflies”. Thunderbug’s aesthetics might seem a little outdated, however, but I’ll let it pass since it could always be worse.

lMEFMq0z.jpg
Tommy Hawk has a Twitter. Again I ask, what is it with mascots having Twitter accounts? (Photo via @BhawkTommyHawk)

14. Tommy Hawk- Chicago Blackhawks

Not bad, but not great either. Tommy Hawk is okay, but I’m sure we’ll all be giving him some points for feeling bad about what happened in Minnesota the other night. Actually, come to think of it, Nordy, you’ve been retroactively downgraded to last place in these rankings. That’s right, Stormy, you’ve been called up. Don’t get used to it.

CvqFwuaWEAAfhk_.jpg
Carlton the Bear? More like Classy the Bear. (Photo via @CarltonTheBear)

13. Carlton the Bear- Toronto Maple Leafs

Pure. Simple. Classic. Carlton the Bear is like a basic cup of coffee that Starbucks “dresses up” and charges you more for. Then again, what do I know, I’m more of a Dunkin’ guy myself and I drink coffee about one or two times a year. Anyway, the point is this, the Toronto Maple Leaf’s mascot is a classic. Named after the street the old Maple Leaf Gardens sat on, Carlton the Bear ties in the history of the Maple Leafs with the culture of hockey (and Canada) so elegantly.

Bonus points for being a polar bear, as well.

fko-9p8z.jpg
Louie! Honestly, he’s not that bad looking, people. (Photo via @LouieSTLBlues)

12. Louie- St. Louis Blues

Say what you will about Louie, but again, the polar bear theme is always a win (to me anyway). He’s fuzzy, he’s friendly, Louie is a decent mascot and a great representative of the game. I mean, seriously, what little kid wouldn’t want to cozy up with Louie for a hug or a photo?

It’s not always about having menacing mascots that will bit your opponent’s head off, you guys. Louie is chill. Louie is laid back. St. Louis, you’ve outdone yourselves, as usual.

C1xqZjFUsAANP_7.jpg
Mick E. Moose is a tremendous upgrade from Benny, the original Jets mascot (though he’s cool, he can hangout anytime). (Photo via @MickEMoose_00)

11. Mick E. Moose- Winnipeg Jets

Mick E. Moose would have made my top-ten, if it weren’t for his creepy, gigantic, smile.

Other than that, Mick E. Moose is a delightful call up from the AHL’s Manitoba Moose. Aside from my vendetta against Mick E. Moose’s smile, I don’t have much else to say for you, Winnipeg. Nice job overall, Jets.

Numbers Game: Ranking the Mascots of the NHL (20-16)

By: Nick Lanciani

The following is a continuation of the ranking of all of the mascots in the NHL, based on the list of NHL mascots Wikipedia page.

CtY77z2WgAAuCiC.jpg
Viktor E. Ratt (left) and Stanley C. Panther (right) would be a winning combo if Viktor E. Ratt retired. (Photo via @FlaPanthersCARE)

20. Stanley C. Panther/ Viktor E. Ratt- Florida Panthers

If it weren’t for Viktor E. Ratt’s existence, Stanley C. Panther might have cracked the top ten. But since Viktor E. Ratt exists, I was generous enough to at least include them in the top-20. Look, I understand Vikor E. Ratt’s significance, given the history and tradition behind Florida Panthers fans tossing plastic rats on the ice, but one mascot is enough. Leave the 1996 inspired rat behind. Please.

As for Stanley C. Panther, he’s average. Despite being rather plain looking, he has a clean aesthetic and ties in perfectly with the Florida Panthers as an organization (aside from, you know, his existence as a Florida panther, the endangered animal and an extension of the brand).

VictorEGreen.png
Victor E. Green definitely stands out in a crowd. (Photo via Dallas Stars)

19. Victor E. Green- Dallas Stars

An ode to the man who moved the North Stars to Dallas or simply an ode to their jersey color, you decide, but Victor E. Green is a pretty solid, lovable, alien. The fact of the matter is that he is too lovable. While I give the Dallas Stars props for joining the mascot bandwagon however long ago (it was pretty recent, but not as recent as Hunter’s arrival with the Edmonton Oilers), an alien is a bit far fetched, unless your team is located in the same state as Area 51 (hello, Vegas Golden Knights employees who are reading this, please take my idea and run with it).

Kudos to the Stars, though, for the wonderful mascot bio that notes Victor E. Green’s relationship status as “[a]lienated” and his birthplace as “[a] galaxy far, far away” (Star Wars > Star Trek, come at me, nerds). Minus five points for being too similar to a MLB mascot, though.

456878046_slide.jpg
Harvey the Hound, giving me nightmares, since forever for some reason. (Photo by Derek Leung/ Getty Images)

18. Harvey the Hound- Calgary Flames

Craig MacTavish isn’t a fan of Harvey the Hound, just ask that 2003 playoff game where he ripped out Harvey the Hound’s tongue (look it up on YouTube on your own time). Fun fact, Harvey the Hound is the oldest mascot in the NHL. Because of that, he gets some brownie points and rises in my ranking. But also because of that and his much needed spin through the washing machine or whatever, he gets downgraded a few spots.

Look, I have no real complaints about Harvey the Hound here other than the costume should probably be dry cleaned and maybe modernized a bit. And no, despite what you may be thinking, Scorch wasn’t better.

137818689.jpg
Gnash looks smashing, despite the fact that the baby blue went better with the silver that was once rampant in Nashville’s jerseys. (Photo by Matt Zambonin/ Freestyle Photo/ Getty Images)

17. Gnash- Nashville Predators

Got to say, not a huge fan of the baby blue, but otherwise Gnash fits the bill perfectly for the Predators. I mean, simply put, there’s not much else to say about this mascot. So 17th it is.

ik5bmd7B.jpg
If it’s from New Jersey it better be Bruce Springsteen or else– so not this guy. Nice try, New Jersey. (Photo via @NJDevil00)

16. N.J. Devil- New Jersey Devils

Some people say N.J. Devil is one of the greatest mascots in sports. I am not “some people”. It might be unfair to hold their uniforms against them, but there’s just something that seems unoriginal about New Jersey’s mascot. What’s with the mustache? Why haven’t they changed their jerseys (or at least added a third jersey) in ages?

It’s New Jersey, why don’t they just dress up one of Bruce Springsteen’s guitars and call it their mascot? Better yet, just get Bruce Springsteen himself to show up at every game. Maybe then the recent lackluster attendance problem will be solved.

Numbers Game: Ranking the mascots of the NHL (25-21)

By: Nick Lanciani

The following is a continuation of the ranking of all of the mascots in the NHL, based on the list of NHL mascots Wikipedia page.

sparky-twitter-avatar-400.jpg
Why, just why? Sparky the Dragon’s on Twitter kids (@SparkyNYI).

25. Sparky the Dragon- New York Islanders

Sparky the Dragon double-dipped as the mascot of the Islanders, wearing blue and orange during Islanders games, and pink, red and black for the New York Dragons (Arena Football) team until 2009. This mascot made sense for the Dragons, considering, hello, Sparky the Dragon is a dragon. But unfortunately for minority Isles owner, Charles Wang (who also owned the New York Dragons), you can’t always get what you want from applying one thing to satisfy two needs.

What was so wrong about the Gorton’s fisherman era Islanders? Honestly, just take that concept and make it a walking thing that creeps on people– I mean, takes pictures with fans and ensures everyone is having a good time at Barclays Center. Plus, the 90s are cool again and most likely every hipster in Brooklyn would flock to an arena that’s ill-fitted for hockey to 1) learn who the Islanders are and 2) dig the on fleek colors of the fisherman (is that what they say now?).

rdqu8amd.jpg
Come to think of it, what’s with mascots on Twitter anyway? Photo via @NordyWild on Twitter (Nordy’s Official Account)

24. Nordy- Minnesota Wild

Everyone says Nordy looks like Alex from Madagascar and while I won’t disagree, I will say that Nordy looks pretty bad. It doesn’t help that the Wild applied their bear logo across his face, for starters. Plus his mane is a bit unkempt.

Come to think of it, I don’t really know what really makes Nordy quite an unattractive mascot. Maybe it’s his number. I mean, 18,001 is a bit much to fit on a jersey. Plus his smile just screams “help me”, “get me out of here” or something along those lines. Minnesota made an attempt. That’s good. He is a lot less creepy than some mascots in the MLB (looking at you– actually, all of the MLB mascots except for Wally the Green Monster). But for NHL mascots, Nordy doesn’t rank quite as well.

03-27-edm-huntersupplied-copy.jpg.size.xxlarge.promo.jpg
“Go stand next to him! He won’t bite– actually, Billy, I’m not sure if he bites,” me if I was a parent. (Photo via Andy Delvin/ Oilers Entertainment Group)

23. Hunter- Edmonton Oilers

Shouts to the Edmonton Oilers for finally introducing a mascot to their organization for their first time in franchise history this season. Hunter’s namesake comes from the original owner of the then Alberta Oilers of the World Hockey Association, Bill Hunter.

But that’s about it for cutesy comments about this sure to devour anyone in its path looking mascot. Look, Hunter’s a great name for the Oilers considering it pays homage to the aforementioned Bill Hunter, but it’s probably not a great name for a lynx that for sure is a carnivore and hunts things. I don’t know, maybe it’s just me or something. Regardless, Edmonton, you tried. Am I glad you finally have a mascot, yes. It’s just a little… creepy.

Bernie in the Stands145428727_std.jpg
Bernie’s eyes will haunt you in your sleep. (Photo via Colorado Avalanche)

22. Bernie the St. Bernard- Colorado Avalanche

The Colorado Avalanche have been feeling the Bern since they switched up their mascot from Howler the Yeti to Bernie the St. Bernard in 2009. For the first few years of Bernie’s existence, I could live with the change.

Yet, as I grow older, I become more nostalgic and cranky towards change. Howler the Yeti was better. Even in the franchise’s days as the Québec Nordiques, whatever this thing was that was the Nordiques mascot was better than this alien-looking dog (look at Bernie’s eyes and tell me he’s not something from Area 51, speaking of which, there’s an idea for you, Vegas Golden Knights, give us an alien). And what’s with the barrel, Bernie? What are you hiding from us and how did you get that past security?

Minnesota+Wild+v+Arizona+Coyotes+pklC9SRKyo3l.jpg
Could be worse. (Photo via Christian Petersen/ Getty Images North America)

21. Howler- Arizona Coyotes

Howler isn’t all that bad, just not that great. He’s average. The kind of mascot that you can be proud of, but wish could do more. Put him in a kachina jersey all year and he’d probably jump up 20 spots in my rankings.

Other than that, I really don’t have any reason why Howler fits in at 21st overall. He just does. Maybe it’s his face. Yeah, come to think of it, his face kind of bothers me. It’s almost too perfect and kind of oddly angled to a point for a nose. That thing’s probably sharp and could poke out someone’s eye. Minus 10 points for safety.

Numbers Game: Ranking the mascots of the NHL (30-26)

By: Nick Lanciani

The following is a ranking of all of the mascots in the NHL, based on the list of NHL mascots Wikipedia page.

Vegas_Golden_Knights_logo.png*Bonus: 31. Vegas Golden Knights

It might be a bit of a savage move (as woke teens these days say) to place the newest expansion team that hasn’t even played a game yet last on the list, but I did it anyway. The point is this, compared with the teams that have been around since before the Vegas franchise was born, this organization better wow me with a mascot design of the 21st century that speaks “we’re better than all of the other teams ranked in this post today, because we at least have a mascot and some of them don’t and/or have ugly ones”.

But hey, no hard feelings if you don’t, Vegas, I understand you guys need a little longer to find yourselves (or at least an end to the trademark dispute regarding your name). Best of luck in 2017!

New York Rangers Logo30. New York Rangers

Seriously, how could you be 90-years-old and not have a mascot for perhaps one of the easiest nicknames to create a mascot based off of? Or at the very least, just put a giant apple somewhere in MSG, similar to the New York Mets’s apple back in the days of Shea Stadium, put some giant eyes on it and claim that it ties into the franchise being in “The Big Apple” or something. I mean, really.

Philadelphia Flyers Logo29. Philadelphia Flyers

The only reason why the Flyers rank higher than the Rangers here is simply because they are about 40 years younger and had a short-lived mascot in the mid-70s. Currently, Philadelphia doesn’t have a mascot, which is something that, similar to the Rangers, is an easy fix. Put an old airplane pilot helmet on some scruffy looking thing and call him “Phil” or “Flyer” or literally anything. You give me the name, I’ll draw you the look, now pay me, Flyers.

e4UVZNzB.jpeg
Via @NHLStormy on Twitter. That’s right, kids, Stormy has his own Twitter account.

28. Stormy- Carolina Hurricanes

Look, I’m all for the name. I’m all for the Hurricanes doing well, because I want to see every franchise succeed in some way. However, I draw the line with making a pig your mascot. I get it, the bacon/pork industry is huge in North Carolina, but the best thing you could come up with after replacing the mascot-god that was Pucky the Whale is a pig? A pig. And not a very good looking pig at that.

Seems kind of amateurish to me, but what do I know? I’m not a mascot inventor. It’s one thing to just move the goal horn with the team, but it probably would’ve been an okay idea to transfer the likeness of Pucky the Whale to the Hurricanes back in 1997.

137839030_std.jpg
What’s up with the electric green and bright yellow, folks? (Photo by Matt Zambonin/Freestyle Photo/Getty Images)

27. Stinger- Columbus Blue Jackets

Original, yes. Bright green, yes. Fits in with the color palette of the organization? No. The obvious play on words here, implying the thing that buzzes in the air and stings people (bees) makes a decent transition in concept. The reality, does not.

At the very least, Columbus, you made the right choice in getting rid of the short-lived Boomer the Cannon. That thing was definitely not PG, no matter how you try to slice it.

81284839.jpg
Al the Octopus can’t even walk around Joe Louis Arena and do, you know, actual mascot things. (Photo by Dave Reginek/Getty Images)

26. Al the Octopus- Detroit Red Wings

Arguably, this one should be lower, but I’ll give the Red Wings a little bit of a pass for the sake of the meaning behind this one. An octopus has eight legs and we’ve all heard the story of how these creatures ended up flying onto the ice in Detroit back in the day (and still to this day, by virtue of 25 consecutive years of making the playoffs), but this “mascot” is just a giant thing that they lower and raise from the rafters of Joe Louis Arena before games.

Not that cool, to be honest. It would be cool if they at least made a walking mascot counterpart, then maybe the octopus duo would receive a higher grade. Then again, maybe just don’t ruin everything by having Little Caesar walk around as the official mascot of the Red Wings next year at the new Little Caesar Arena, mmkay?