Numbers Game: Ranking the mascots of the NHL (30-26)

By: Nick Lanciani

The following is a ranking of all of the mascots in the NHL, based on the list of NHL mascots Wikipedia page.

Vegas_Golden_Knights_logo.png*Bonus: 31. Vegas Golden Knights

It might be a bit of a savage move (as woke teens these days say) to place the newest expansion team that hasn’t even played a game yet last on the list, but I did it anyway. The point is this, compared with the teams that have been around since before the Vegas franchise was born, this organization better wow me with a mascot design of the 21st century that speaks “we’re better than all of the other teams ranked in this post today, because we at least have a mascot and some of them don’t and/or have ugly ones”.

But hey, no hard feelings if you don’t, Vegas, I understand you guys need a little longer to find yourselves (or at least an end to the trademark dispute regarding your name). Best of luck in 2017!

New York Rangers Logo30. New York Rangers

Seriously, how could you be 90-years-old and not have a mascot for perhaps one of the easiest nicknames to create a mascot based off of? Or at the very least, just put a giant apple somewhere in MSG, similar to the New York Mets’s apple back in the days of Shea Stadium, put some giant eyes on it and claim that it ties into the franchise being in “The Big Apple” or something. I mean, really.

Philadelphia Flyers Logo29. Philadelphia Flyers

The only reason why the Flyers rank higher than the Rangers here is simply because they are about 40 years younger and had a short-lived mascot in the mid-70s. Currently, Philadelphia doesn’t have a mascot, which is something that, similar to the Rangers, is an easy fix. Put an old airplane pilot helmet on some scruffy looking thing and call him “Phil” or “Flyer” or literally anything. You give me the name, I’ll draw you the look, now pay me, Flyers.

e4UVZNzB.jpeg
Via @NHLStormy on Twitter. That’s right, kids, Stormy has his own Twitter account.

28. Stormy- Carolina Hurricanes

Look, I’m all for the name. I’m all for the Hurricanes doing well, because I want to see every franchise succeed in some way. However, I draw the line with making a pig your mascot. I get it, the bacon/pork industry is huge in North Carolina, but the best thing you could come up with after replacing the mascot-god that was Pucky the Whale is a pig? A pig. And not a very good looking pig at that.

Seems kind of amateurish to me, but what do I know? I’m not a mascot inventor. It’s one thing to just move the goal horn with the team, but it probably would’ve been an okay idea to transfer the likeness of Pucky the Whale to the Hurricanes back in 1997.

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What’s up with the electric green and bright yellow, folks? (Photo by Matt Zambonin/Freestyle Photo/Getty Images)

27. Stinger- Columbus Blue Jackets

Original, yes. Bright green, yes. Fits in with the color palette of the organization? No. The obvious play on words here, implying the thing that buzzes in the air and stings people (bees) makes a decent transition in concept. The reality, does not.

At the very least, Columbus, you made the right choice in getting rid of the short-lived Boomer the Cannon. That thing was definitely not PG, no matter how you try to slice it.

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Al the Octopus can’t even walk around Joe Louis Arena and do, you know, actual mascot things. (Photo by Dave Reginek/Getty Images)

26. Al the Octopus- Detroit Red Wings

Arguably, this one should be lower, but I’ll give the Red Wings a little bit of a pass for the sake of the meaning behind this one. An octopus has eight legs and we’ve all heard the story of how these creatures ended up flying onto the ice in Detroit back in the day (and still to this day, by virtue of 25 consecutive years of making the playoffs), but this “mascot” is just a giant thing that they lower and raise from the rafters of Joe Louis Arena before games.

Not that cool, to be honest. It would be cool if they at least made a walking mascot counterpart, then maybe the octopus duo would receive a higher grade. Then again, maybe just don’t ruin everything by having Little Caesar walk around as the official mascot of the Red Wings next year at the new Little Caesar Arena, mmkay?

 

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