The 1st Annual Down the Frozen River Awards

By: Nick Lanciani

I present these highly desirable (or not so desirable) awards to the following players, with the hopes that they’ll catch on and become an annual thing that we do. A note to all players (and readers), please don’t take these seriously. It’s meant to be a fun teaser for the NHL Awards Ceremony in Las Vegas on Wednesday night.

The “Hey That Guy’s Pretty Good” Award- Tyler Johnson, Tampa Bay Lightning

Turns out that guy was good for something after all.

Oduya Like Puns Award- Johnny Oduya, Chicago Blackhawks (duh)

Odidya like that one?

Why Can’t I Have Him on My Team Award- Tyler Johnson, Tampa Bay Lightning

I want him on my team, so I gave him an award as an incentive to be on my team. Shut up, obviously it’s going to work.

The Uncoachable Award- Matt Bartkowski, Boston Bruins

Uncoachable, undesirable, same thing. (This award would’ve been awarded to Dennis Wideman normally, but he lucked out this time).

The Torts Trophy- Mike Yeo, Minnesota Wild

Awarded to the coach with the most fantastic meltdown of the season. *Careful of the language.*

The Bobby Orr Trophy- Erik Karlsson, Ottawa Senators

Presented to the most offensive defenseman in the NHL, so basically, Erik Karlsson should be able to rightfully say he won an award as a top defenseman in the league for something.

Biggest Surprise- Nick Foligno, Columbus Blue Jackets

Presented to the player that surprised us the most in the regular season.

Bigger-est Surprise- Tyler Johnson, Tampa Bay Lightning

Presented to the player that surprised us the most in the playoffs.

Bear in a Forrest Award- Anton Khudobin, Carolina Hurricanes

Given to our favorite goaltender to make fun of.

Heroic Comeback- Rich Peverley, Dallas Stars (would win this if he ever plays again, or if he doesn’t he still wins for wanting to get right back in the game…)

Awarded to a player with the best comeback either from an injury, adversity, or other means, basically it’s our version of the Masterton without the NHL getting in the way of it. Basically we gave it to Peverley for his determination to return as an honorary measure, it will follow the rest of our awards format (things that actually happened during the season) next year.

Best Comeback- 2013 Boston Bruins (vs. Toronto Maple Leafs, Game 7 Eastern Conference Quarterfinals)

Awarded to a team that defeated another team in thrilling fashion. This award is held by a team until another team impresses us even more. This is the only award that can be won multiple times, without having any relevance to the season that just ended.

The Patrik Stefan Award- Dennis Wideman, Calgary Flames

Given to the player that committed the most embarrassing play of the year.

Fan Vote Winner- (winner TBD, take the poll or else it will be TBD forever)

Basically this award is pointless- it gives recognition to a player we looked over, but felt the fans might have some sympathy for.